I stand resolute. 

I’m using a Cloth Armor/4-1 start in all matchups. I guess I just don’t like selling the Rejuvenation Bead, and I’m generally okay without an early Sight Ward. I’ve taken to stacking Doran’s Shield/Blades until I win the lane… it’s quite a cocky attitude to have, but it’s been successful so far. I wish that Phage was cheaper/better — I really like Trinity Force, but Blade of the Ruined King is so much easier to build.

I feel like the early levels with Irelia depend a lot on luck, since her best trades need a Bladesurge refresh on a nearby minion — I get too impatient waiting for the right combination of enemy cooldowns and minion configurations. I wish I had the reflexes to use it to dodge skillshots more often, too.

Dunno if I’m only winning games because she’s an uncommon pick and carries forget to stay the fuck out of 1300-1650 range. Main problem is against pushers — I only hit around 4/6 minions at the turret and take too much poke/mana in the process. I’m always uncomfortable fighting against a minion advantage, too.

I stand resolute.

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20 May 2013 - 19 hours ago   ♥ 4
We caught up for about an hour that night before she diagnosed1 me, saying it’s because I’m not doing stuff any more. I’ve already figured that I need to play more, but I need to work out why I can’t.

I guess it’s about three things: I used to hang around more creative people, I was a lot less apprehensive about sharing my work, and I had the time and energy to spare2.

I used to spend many more weekends hanging around on MSN/Skype, tablet in hand, talking about whatever and making something in the process. We’ve all naturally drifted apart, but I do genuinely find it incredible they’re okay to only watch TV and think about travelling these days. Doing stuff used to be such an important part of our world.

I’d pinpoint my own demise around 2007, where AS levels killed so much time and we stopped getting fun assignments. Getting the reputation of being the go-to artist/computer geek probably hurt me — I think this is the cause of a lot of anxiety problems in not being an expert at everything. I shelved a lot of good ideas, and refused to help out on many occasions in fear of not being good enough… it all seems so stupid now.

Actually, my memories place me as the instigator of a lot of the things we used to work on, and yet I don’t possess any of the ideation or leadership traits any more — I can’t imagine having ever been that person. I’ve really been living the last few years with zero initiative, expecting to just happen upon someone else with a great project (or creative muse <3).

I guess I wanted some magic to happen at uni, but I didn’t connect with any societies, and the Computer Science department doesn’t do much to foster a hack culture (this is why the lack of student space on Heslington East bothers me so much). !!! TODO

(Aside: I don’t know if I like the post Web 2.0 internet, because being able to share things so easily is great, but being on the same stage as everyone in the world is really daunting. I think it was at its best with forum-sized communities, but I never felt I could contribute to the more global ones, i.e. 4chan, Reddit, Twitter, Tumblr.)

So I’ve never really filled that gap of people with whom I feel comfortable bouncing ideas. I’m starting to think that I never will unless I get over myself first.

Was I happy because I was creative, or was I creative because I was happy?



I’d probably say this has more to do with the lack of meaningful connection with people: loneliness. I think this creative shit might be the only thing on which I care to connect, though. ↩



Didn’t really address this, but I think it’s just something about being an adult and not having the time to play around. Responsibilities and shit, yo. I guess a great idea will be motivating enough, but for the low points/skill building times, you’d still need more encouragement. ↩

We caught up for about an hour that night before she diagnosed1 me, saying it’s because I’m not doing stuff any more. I’ve already figured that I need to play more, but I need to work out why I can’t.

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19 May 2013 - 1 day ago   ♥ 3
Sketch in my notepad says “cool ring” pointing to a scribble of a hand in an impossible position, but hey, the guy sitting next to me thought it looked good.

Sketch in my notepad says “cool ring” pointing to a scribble of a hand in an impossible position, but hey, the guy sitting next to me thought it looked good.

16 May 2013 - 4 days ago   ♥ 2
Started learning how to use @media queries to create pages which scale better. It’s an interesting challenge, and I’d love to do more if I had some extra mobile hardware to play around with, but it’s one of those things that you can get dangerously obsessive about. I felt that I had to, at least, extend my newly-learned skills to my own blog, but I’m not sure if it’s worth applying to permalink pages.

“I hope you realise that literally no-one cares.”

Started learning how to use @media queries to create pages which scale better. It’s an interesting challenge, and I’d love to do more if I had some extra mobile hardware to play around with, but it’s one of those things that you can get dangerously obsessive about. I felt that I had to, at least, extend my newly-learned skills to my own blog, but I’m not sure if it’s worth applying to permalink pages.

“I hope you realise that literally no-one cares.”

14 May 2013 - 5 days ago   ♥ 2

Bret Victor - Drawing Dynamic Visualizations

14 May 2013 - 6 days ago
Thoughts on Dysfunctional Systems: Episode 1


Really great.

Just because of the nature of visual novels, I went back to try other decisions, yet I felt really guilty in doing so. I’d only want to carry through one ending profile just because it adds gravity to the game, but can’t see myself waiting on an ending for years, and not being able to fully explore the other directions the story can take. Lots of potential here.

I have some criticisms — I think the codex detracts rather than adds, and maybe the dialogue seemed a bit plot-focussed and unnatural? Still outstanding — I really dig the art direction.

Thoughts on Dysfunctional Systems: Episode 1

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dysfunctionalsystems.com 11 May 2013 - 1 week ago

Anonymous asked: Hi, I can't decide on which uni to go to for CS. Just wondering what made you pick York in particular?

I always say that there isn’t much difference between courses at undergraduate level, at least for a BSc, so it’s best to make the decision based on the feel of a uni/city or your gut preference or whatever.

I don’t recommend York for a few reasons, mainly that Heslington East is too barren and isolated to make a good student experience. I definitely wouldn’t have gone there if I’d known the department was moving.

York probably has the best student media (newspapers, radio, TV) in the country. That said, it’s fairly small and isn’t that great for sports (historically, you’d have to pay to join any sports societies, etc.). Fragsoc is fairly unique if you’re a PC gamer.

My choice was between York and Southampton. These two stand out by being a bit more hardware focussed, but there’s not much in it otherwise. I guess I felt like York open days had it a bit more together, the accommodation was nicer and I preferred to be in a smaller city. In all honesty, people from my secondary school were the biggest factor.

10 May 2013 - 1 week ago

Clearing through my Drafts/Notes/Memos/Q101 file with a bunch of little things that I’m too lazy to write about in detail.

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7 May 2013 - 1 week ago   ♥ 1
Won a 1v2 Bot lane without help. Not that impressive considering how much trying to jungle has tanked my MMR, but still felt like an achievement. It just had to be a last-pick Teemo that forced himself to go duo Mid…

Rejuvenation Bead -> 3x Doran’s Blade -> Boots of Speed + Dagger -> Berserker’s Greaves + B.F. Sword + Zeal -> Infinity Edge -> Phantom Dancer -> Blade of the Ruined King. Probably should have sold the bead earlier to make room for consumables, but that might have slowed me down too much. Not sure about getting earlier Boots against Ezreal, but otherwise played this one pretty ideally. Don’t recall in obvious places.

Placeholder shot until LOLReplay works better.

Won a 1v2 Bot lane without help. Not that impressive considering how much trying to jungle has tanked my MMR, but still felt like an achievement. It just had to be a last-pick Teemo that forced himself to go duo Mid…

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3 May 2013 - 2 weeks ago
And we don’t know
Just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed
Into the earth below

And we don’t know
Just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed
Into the earth below

1 May 2013 - 2 weeks ago
Roast pork shoulder with sautéed potatoes, served with parsnips, iceberg lettuce and onion gravy. The meat is moist despite being twice-cooked, the potatoes are crispy and the parsnips have flecks of leftover pancake batter. 9 (How’s that cameraphone?)

Roast pork shoulder with sautéed potatoes, served with parsnips, iceberg lettuce and onion gravy. The meat is moist despite being twice-cooked, the potatoes are crispy and the parsnips have flecks of leftover pancake batter. 9 (How’s that cameraphone?)

29 April 2013 - 3 weeks ago
Fair resemblance, aside from her accident with the History Eraser.

Fair resemblance, aside from her accident with the History Eraser.

28 April 2013 - 3 weeks ago
I get embarrassed that I can’t read or write Chinese, and it’s been about a year since I last had a conversation in Mandarin. That time, I could barely string meaningful sentences together, but I think I’ve completely forgotten it by now.

At Chinese School, people either spoke it at home, flunked entirely or cheated their way through. I fell into the last camp because I felt such a pressure to do well, rather than actually wanting to learn. I didn’t (and still don’t really) understand how it’s possible to learn a language of so many characters and I quit around my 7th birthday… I didn’t have any friends there — I think if I did, that might’ve kept me going, but I’m still not sure the teaching would’ve got me anywhere.

I forced myself to try again many years later, but I never really put in much effort. I guess that I don’t have a genuine desire to learn, but a fear of getting caught out when I go into a Chinese restaurant or I visit my relatives. Anyway, languages aren’t really something you can learn by yourself.

And really, it decays so rapidly with infrequent use that I almost don’t want to waste my time. My English reading comprehension is already bad enough.

I get embarrassed that I can’t read or write Chinese, and it’s been about a year since I last had a conversation in Mandarin. That time, I could barely string meaningful sentences together, but I think I’ve completely forgotten it by now.

At Chinese School, people either spoke it at home, flunked entirely or cheated their way through. I fell into the last camp because I felt such a pressure to do well, rather than actually wanting to learn. I didn’t (and still don’t really) understand how it’s possible to learn a language of so many characters and I quit around my 7th birthday… I didn’t have any friends there — I think if I did, that might’ve kept me going, but I’m still not sure the teaching would’ve got me anywhere.

I forced myself to try again many years later, but I never really put in much effort. I guess that I don’t have a genuine desire to learn, but a fear of getting caught out when I go into a Chinese restaurant or I visit my relatives. Anyway, languages aren’t really something you can learn by yourself.

And really, it decays so rapidly with infrequent use that I almost don’t want to waste my time. My English reading comprehension is already bad enough.

23 April 2013 - 3 weeks ago   ♥ 1

“If the right thing were easy to do, the world wouldn’t be as f***ed up as it is.”

- Armaan Khan, Tiger Attack

22 April 2013 - 4 weeks ago
Season Three: Week 11 

Bot lane

Although it’s only about five games, I had a perfect record in Bot lane this week. Mostly luck — enemies lost lanes, rather than me winning them, and the rest of the games were easy as a result.

I spend most matches slowly poking the opponent out of lane and aiming to win the laning phase this way. It’s not a very convincing way to win — a single gank can end up making things fairly even. That’s fine, since I’m confident in my mid-late game ability nowadays (I notice there’s less health stacking, but I’m also farming and kiting so much better than I was when I started out), but I really l need to understand how to play all-ins and trades better to understand Bot lane.

The problem with Caitlyn is that I’m too reliant on my Support. Her damage during trades comes from the extra autoattack she can usually get (or two with W); I find Q and R are a bit too unreliable as sources of damage to consistently get kills, though. For this reason, I’m very tempted to go back to using Ashe, at least in the matchups I’m more confident in (Ezreal, Tristana, Graves).

Kog’Maw requested me to use Nunu in one game. Ice Blast is really great, but I can’t tell how significant his speed buff/debuff really is. I think I’ll start adding him to my rotation for a bit of variety — you hardly see him played any more.

Top lane

I bought Irelia, despite the fact I probably need another Jungler more. I like the way that she works as a trading laner — there’s a nice advantage to playing her regularly and understanding how she matches up with opponents. I guess I enjoy playing the underdog. Bladesurge is incredibly fun and rewarding to use correctly.

I still need to figure out a personal way to play her — I’m not doing that well with CS, which means that I have trouble rushing damage for the lane and still having time to get tanky before teamfights. That’s why Trinity Force is probably my best option — I think Sheen burst is more important than overall sustained damage (Wit’s End/Zephyr) if I’m ever roaming.

I had trouble against Mordekaiser, especially after he came back with a Hextech Revolver. I don’t know if Philosopher’s Stone was a good choice, but I don’t think I would’ve made ground even with Doran’s Blades using W on every cooldown. Our jungler stayed Bot all game, but even then I don’t think we’d have the burst to take him from 120% unless he tried something stupid.

Also finding Zed kinda tough. I was happy to just build Armor in that game, but his constant pushing and easy escapes make it one of those lanes that I need to bring Teleport in. I lost an Olaf lane pretty badly — sometimes you need to take Ignite/Barrier.

Other thoughts

I really enjoyed playing Zyra as a Mid laner (autoattack animation is a huge factor for me), but I also think she’s the kind of Support that I like to play with, and maybe as so I’ll add her to my list. I think her kit’s just a little more complete and consistent than other fully aggressive champions, like Lux or Leona — E is easy to hit and R should offer really consistent kills. I also think her passive is hilarious.

I bought my first Movement Speed Quintessence, but I think you really need all three before it starts becoming significant enough.

Season Three: Week 11

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22 April 2013 - 4 weeks ago   ♥ 1